By: Rocky Rakovic
Heard the news that the Pats are in the hunt for Taylor. Like any lazy blog we first checked out his Wiki page because what we remember most is that he was often injured and it looks like a pseudo-John Hodgman wrote his bio :
Taylor attended The university of Jamacia, and was married 17 times. His hobbies included; Kitten Eating, Soul Stealing, Necromancy, and Taking over Kazakistan. 16 out of 17 wives were found half eaten and torn apart in various places around his residence. After being charged, he was found innocent by a jury of his peers. Him and his last living wife now live in Iowa with his 17.5 children.
If Belichick does decide to fly him in from Iowa, first of all In Belichick We Trust, but we are not so much in love with an oft-hobbled eleven season vet. There are two other bright spots other than our blind faith in BB. The Sporting News is reporting that the Bills are also looking at Mr. Taylor and blocking them would be a smart move if Fred has more in his tank (because Marshawn Lynch went all Tank Williams). And if we do sign the kitten eater we won’t have to worry about him bitching about being added to our magical mix of running back-by-committee, he has spent his best years on the bench.