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Saturday, October 9, 2010

Breaking Up is Easy to Do

By Rocky,

Why are you here, it’s an off-week? Well thanks for coming. Since you are around you should hear about my friend: 

He was dating this girl, she is ridiculously hot (including a great ass) but she's a bitch. She kept begging to marry him, to commit, but he wasn’t into it, he told her, “Lets ride out this year and then we’ll see.” She got all crazy-like and announced to everyone that she was going to leave him. Then he quietly reminded her that they live together and that it would make it weird if they stuck with the relationship. She cooled it but was steaming silently. Knowing she wouldn’t be around for long, lest more than a season, he began spreading himself around. Finally he decided that he would be happier if he tried lesser attractive but more agreeable women. 

Now, know, that as far as looks as concerned his girlfriend is one of the all-time greats. Still he felt it amicable and better for his future if he shed her now before she decided to sit around his house pouting and demanding he give her more money (she was sort of a kept woman with some short but very useful talents). He posted an ad on Craigslist and found the opportunity of having a female roommate—not nearly as pretty, but one who may be able to bring a foosball table, kegerator or perhaps the talent to draw a double team next year. This new girl promised to come next year but would pay the girlfriend’s security deposit now and allow my friend to rent out the extra room until she came with a moving van.

My friend asked me what I thought of his decision and initially I told him that he would never find a girl as pretty as his current girlfriend but when I thought of the headaches he suffered to keep her I saw that he was making the clear, right, emotionally detached decision for his future. Then when I asked how he would send his Hall of Fame girlfriend back to her parents and give her the security deposit back he answered, “Straight cash, homey.”


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