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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Leave Favre Alone! (so that the Bears can end his career)

By Charlie
Everyone and their mother are writing a story this week about Brett Favre and all the drama surrounding him and his tiny pecker.  So I decided to be original and go out on limb by writing a story about. . . Brett Favre.  I’m sorry, but bear with me for a minute here.  I have a bit of rage when it comes to the subject of the ol Gunslinger.  In my opinion there are only three athletes who have earned the middle name “F’n”; Bucky F’n Dent, Aaron F’n Boone and Brett F’n Favre.  So it pains me a bit to say that I’m pulling for the old man this week.  I really hope that Favre ends up starting against the Pats.  I’ll even go as far as saying that I hope that he plays relatively well (while losing the game) and that he doesn’t hurt his poor widdle ankle.  Why would I wish (relative) success for my most hated football player of all time?  Simple.  As a Bears fan I believe that it is our birthright to end his career.
No team has suffered at the hands of Favre more than the Chicago Bears.  While Favre has started 291 consecutive games the Bears have had to put up with a revolving door at quarterback since the Punky QB left town.  While Favre dominated the NFC Central/North the Bears started the likes of Peter Tom Willis, Steve Stenstrom, Moses Moreno and Henry “Happy Hank” Burris.  Our best quarterback in that time is probably Jim Miller.  Yes, that would be the same Jim Miller who had such a crappy arm that to throw any Hail Mary attempts the Bears had to use our best receiver Marty Booker at QB.  Favre holds a 22-10 career record against the Bears.  22 times we’ve had to see that pompous ass jump around like he had just thrown his first touchdown.  22 times we’ve had to stomach listening to (insert broadcaster) fawn over how gritty and tough number 4 is.  Thinking back on it is enough to make me want to puke. 
Please, just give us this one thing.  I’m willing to admit that the Bears are probably the worst 4-3 team in football history.  The next time our O-line picks up a blitz will be the first time.  We have 4 failed head coaches on our sidelines every week (Mike Tice, Mike Martz, Rod “0-16” Marinelli and Lovie Smith).  There is very little to celebrate at Soldier Field this year.  The one thing that could bring a smile to the face of every Bears fan would be the sight of Julius Peppers standing over a twitching and broken Brett Favre.  So please let Brett Favre survive until week 10.  Thanks.

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