Hi. I’m Charlie. I’ve been begging Rocky to let me write something for the Blauhg for a while. Actually I haven’t even gotten permission from him to write this for the blog, I’m just going to email this to him every 15 minutes until it ends up on the Blauhg. I feel that I need to address the Randy Moss trade so this was the opportune time to pester him.
Now you need to know who I am and for me to explain my Patriots fandom. First and foremost I am a Bears fan. I live in Chicago and wear a Bears’ Curtis Conway jersey most Sundays. My dad is from Boston and made sure that I was a diehard Red Sox fan despite where I grew up. He never really liked football so he didn’t care if I liked the Pats, so I became a Bears fan. Since I already had some Boston fandom I would find myself latching on to the Celtics when the Bulls weren’t interesting and to the Pats when the Bears were sucking (which happens a lot). To add to this I went to Purdue where I dealt with a bunch of mouth breathing Colts fans and they are truly the worst that humanity has to offer. So I found myself rooting for the Pats more and more through the years. They aren’t my true love but you guys have a pretty sexy mistress. My favorite all time Patriot is Rosie Colvin since he completed the trifecta; Purdue, Bears, Pats. I digress…
When I heard about the Randy Moss trade I thought about it from my point of view of a Patriots fan at first. I thought that it was silly that they got rid of him. I know that he hasn’t contributed all that much as far as stats go this year, but that’s not all there is to him. The way he stretches the field is what enables Welker to be so successful. He will be missed and there is no way that they will be able to replace him this year and I think it will hurt their chances of going deep into the playoffs. That being said I think a third round pick is pretty decent for a rent-a-player that was most likely not going to be coming back next year, even if it is a player as talented as Randy. I wish they found a way to work things out with him but I have to say that I’m pumped about the draft next year, seriously. So as a Pats fan I was disappointed but I see how it was a smart move.
Then I started thinking with my right brain, being a Bears fan, and I started getting a little worked up. Then I thought about it some more. Then I threw a scotch glass against the wall. FUCK! You’re giving Randy Moss to the fucking Vikings for a bag of footballs you fucking bastards! We were this close from seeing Brett Favre’s career crumble in front of us as he throws three picks a game without a single receiver worth a damn. Now with Moss to throw to Favre is going to be like a damn kid out there! as he gunslings the Vikings back into contention. Peter King is going to have to change his underwear every 15 minutes with Favre and Moss together. GODDAMNIT! Couldn’t you trade Moss to, oh, I don’t know, anyone else?! Moss is going to have nine tuddys in the two games against the Bears this year. Then some no name asshole will replace Moss in New England and score three tuddys against the Bears in December. Did you really have to do this to me the same week that Todd Collins becomes our starting QB? Ugh!