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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Patriots vs Vikings Betting Lines, Chalk of the Week, My Jared Allen Halloween Costume

Minnesota +5.5 at New England


Business first, I dressed as a “sexy” Jared Allen this year -->

Patriots -5.5
Oh I hope the Vicodins show up. If Brett Favre is under center we take this one no problem. I think Belichick has also game-planned for Tavaris Jack-O-Lantern to try and light us up (sorry, I’m hopped up on Squirrel Nut Zippers right now) and he is more dangerous at this time. By dangerous I don’t believe that TJack is better than the future Hall Of Famer, I just have the feeling that the 2-5 Vikings could use a spark and that inserting TJack is like replacing a spent flint in a Zippo. Now, for the record I don’t think his style of play will catch our young defense in a precarious situation as their youth means they aren’t that far removed from his college style play. I think the more time you are a pro the more time you forget things you instinctively knew. It’s like how you knew all the state capitals in grammar school but couldn’t do algebra but then if your high school math teacher inserted the question “What’s the capital of Nevada?” into a quiz on cosines you’d either put Las Vegas, Reno or leave it blank. (Carson City). Don’t think about the spread too hard, take the Pats, lay the points and spend your time trying to figure out which is the only state to have four consecutive consonants in one of the words its name (meaning “North Dakota” doesn’t count because it’s split over two names).

Over/Under 44
It’s always fun to go over, you can root for scoring. But we haven’t a clue so we’ll thank Tom Brady for settling a bar argument we’ve overheard. If you hadn’t read, a reporter asked Brady something to the effect of “What about Randy Moss knowing the Patriots’ playbook?” And Brady answered that’s why we game plan and change it  each week. Brilliant yet obvious. If you are smarter than we, and chances are you are, sorry that we just caught up. If you, like us, hadn’t thought of this before feel free to shove this down the throat of any big mouth who spouts off about Moss knowing our signals and plays in your vicinity, newspaper or sports talk radio. And, again, we aren’t shrewd enough to figure out the over/under this week.

Charlie’s Chalk of the Week presented by Sports Bet Listings: Jaguars +6.5
Actually it won’t be the favorite this week, it’s the end of the month so I’m assuming that most of you need to pay the rent.  Take the Jags.  Jon Kitna and the Cowboys shouldn’t be 6.5 point favorites over anyone.

Sports betting predictions at http://www.sportsbetlistings.com/sports-betting-news

Online sports bet - http://www.sportsbetlistings.com/

-30-

Leave Favre Alone! (so that the Bears can end his career)


By Charlie
Everyone and their mother are writing a story this week about Brett Favre and all the drama surrounding him and his tiny pecker.  So I decided to be original and go out on limb by writing a story about. . . Brett Favre.  I’m sorry, but bear with me for a minute here.  I have a bit of rage when it comes to the subject of the ol Gunslinger.  In my opinion there are only three athletes who have earned the middle name “F’n”; Bucky F’n Dent, Aaron F’n Boone and Brett F’n Favre.  So it pains me a bit to say that I’m pulling for the old man this week.  I really hope that Favre ends up starting against the Pats.  I’ll even go as far as saying that I hope that he plays relatively well (while losing the game) and that he doesn’t hurt his poor widdle ankle.  Why would I wish (relative) success for my most hated football player of all time?  Simple.  As a Bears fan I believe that it is our birthright to end his career.
No team has suffered at the hands of Favre more than the Chicago Bears.  While Favre has started 291 consecutive games the Bears have had to put up with a revolving door at quarterback since the Punky QB left town.  While Favre dominated the NFC Central/North the Bears started the likes of Peter Tom Willis, Steve Stenstrom, Moses Moreno and Henry “Happy Hank” Burris.  Our best quarterback in that time is probably Jim Miller.  Yes, that would be the same Jim Miller who had such a crappy arm that to throw any Hail Mary attempts the Bears had to use our best receiver Marty Booker at QB.  Favre holds a 22-10 career record against the Bears.  22 times we’ve had to see that pompous ass jump around like he had just thrown his first touchdown.  22 times we’ve had to stomach listening to (insert broadcaster) fawn over how gritty and tough number 4 is.  Thinking back on it is enough to make me want to puke. 
Please, just give us this one thing.  I’m willing to admit that the Bears are probably the worst 4-3 team in football history.  The next time our O-line picks up a blitz will be the first time.  We have 4 failed head coaches on our sidelines every week (Mike Tice, Mike Martz, Rod “0-16” Marinelli and Lovie Smith).  There is very little to celebrate at Soldier Field this year.  The one thing that could bring a smile to the face of every Bears fan would be the sight of Julius Peppers standing over a twitching and broken Brett Favre.  So please let Brett Favre survive until week 10.  Thanks.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Brett Farve Tweets

By: Greg
Twitter is a great thing, its an even better thing when the opposing 40 year old quaterback sends pictures of his gerklin pickle to a hottie and then does even worse on the field thus making the whole twitter universe poke fun at him.....

denisleary Brett Farve: I did not send penis pics. If he had - they would've been intercepted.


MyJugador I am sure the ankle bone is not the only bone hurting on Brett Farve these days...
  
AmyinAtlanta212 i JUST now got a text from Brett Farve....why would he send me a pic of his little finger??...


WordsfromWise Brett Farve must have naked pictures of Childress or something because I can't fathom why they haven't thought of moving to Tavaris Jackson


Brett Farve has open Jeans

By: Greg
Does making fun of Brett Farve get old??

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Patriots vs. Chargers Week 7 Highlights

By: Greg
Always nice to see a victory once or twice....

Monday, October 25, 2010

Observations from a big road win....

By: Greg
  • The Patriots have strugggled on the road, beating SD who were red hot at home, is a legit road win
  • Thank God for the five yards offsides becuase from 45 that kick was good
  • Thank God for having Kris Brown in there because Nate Kaeding would have hit that kick
  • Thank God for the Chargers being without thier two best WRs, would have been a different game with Floyd, Nanee and a healthy Gates
  • With that being said why in hell was San Diego favored by two, the Blaugh cleaned up while betting with http://www.sportsbetlistings.com/  sports betting predictions - http://www.sportsbetlistings.com/sports-betting-news   
    online sports bet - http://www.sportsbetlistings.com/  I usually never bet on my Patriots because things get broken in my house without having money on the line
  • With all the mistakes the Chargers made in the first half the Pats should have been up big at half
  • Does Pepper Johnson get cerdit for recovering that fumble?
  • How girly does Phillip Rivers look throwing the ball? Like a female T Rex
  • Sergio Brown the late round rookie out of Notre Dame came up with some key tackles, including a game saver
  • How could the Pats not be prepared for an onside kick up 10 with 7 minutes left...
  • Going for it on Fourth and One was the right choice, I know they did not make it but it was too dangerous to give them the ball back with all thier timeouts and a tired defense on the field
  • How spookey will halloween be with Moss and Lil Farve be?

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Week 7, Patriots vs. Chargers Betting Lines, Mahk’s Lock of the Week


Patriots +3 going to San Diego Over/Under 49

Patriots +3

You didn’t come here to hear that the Chargers start late every year and this is around the time they start dominating. You didn’t come here to hear that the Chargers lead the league in offense and defense yet are only 2-4 and are due. You came here because we have/had Naanee and Sproiles on our fantasy team so we’ve been tracking this joke of a team. You came here to hear that close to 70% of the smart money (and ours) is on the Pats—with a bullet or six. Sure, it’s a road game but we aren’t much worried about the Chargers and are a little shocked that the Pats are getting points.

Over 49

The fourth and fifth most-scoring teams in the league are playing, 49 is high but it might not be high enough. It s a fantasy game for fantasy owners (who don’t have Sproiles or Naanee). If you like defense, you are going to hate this game.

And if you like scoring and the Pats you are going to love this one seconded by Mahk’s Lock of the Week brought to you by SportsBetListing.com via Twitter from his second estate in Virginia: "Pats +3 at sd. Lalalalala lock it up!"

sports betting predictions - http://www.sportsbetlistings.com/sports-betting-news


online sports bet - http://www.sportsbetlistings.com/
-30- 

Monday, October 18, 2010

Biggest win in years....

By: Greg
  • The Ravens were pretty much hands down the best team in the NFL coming into the game with the Pats, they beat the Jets and Steelers, the other two top teams in the NFL. So it was not only a revenge game but a true test of how good the Pats are....
  • Dieon Branch looks like he never left....imagine how good he would have been if he stayed instead of going for the $$
  • We might see that with Wes Welker, if the Pats can get him to sign a long term deal
  • Memo to Bradys WRs : "NEVER LEAVE BRADY OR YOUR CAREER WILL DIE"
  • Gostowksi can kick the shit out of the ball, touchback after touchback is clutch for field position
  • Throw up the Zzzzz for Zoltan
  • Cunningham looks like he could be a game changer, he was getting after the QB all game long
  • How come BB did not call a time out right before half, you have the best QB in the NFL and you are down by 3, you have three timeouts with a minute left
  • We gotta thank the Ravens for playing like girls too, not going for it on two fourths and inches,
  • While were thanking people, thank you McClain for your idiotic roughing penalty
  • I was wrong wrong wrong on Devon McCourtey, guy is playing like a pro bowler as a rookie
  • Who the hell is Fletcher? Chevy Chase? Him being in there in the 4th quater scared me
  • Having two white outside linebackers scares me too
  • Danny Woodhead, the Rudy of the NFL, cant be stopped

Sunday, October 17, 2010

We're So Raven

Chalkboard material:





It worked against the Dolphins two weeks ago and it will inspire today. Ravens are +2 1/2 but this isn't last postseason, we've got Welker and swagger.

44 and the hook is the over, we're taking the Under, it's going to be a defensive battle won by Belichick Co. Moss is gone but so is derision. The Pats come together and lose to the Ravens nevermore.


Mahk's Lock of the Week:

Strokeland Raiders go across the Bay, they are +7 but they'll beat them outright. Looks like Mike Singletary will be dropping his drawers for Jason Campbell.

-30-

Monday, October 11, 2010

Deion Branch back with the Patriots!!

By: Greg
The Pats lost thier best reciever of all time this week but now have added one of Tom Bradys favorite targets.  The Patriots have traded for Deion Branch from the Seahawks for a 4th round pick. There were Branch rumors all year and now they have come to fruition.
Branch, whom was Tom's favorite target for two super bowl rings has not have the same sucess in Seatlle. Injuries and poor QB play have played a part in that. This season Branch is second on the team in receptions with 13 but the emergence of young wideouts on the squad made Branch expendable.
Branch might have lost a step or two but he knows the Patriots system inside and out. He can play any three wideout spots on the field which is key for flexability.

 It looks the Pats will go back to the days of hitting the open reciever and methodically moving the ball down the field. The Pats now have three waterbugs on the field with Welker, Edelman and Branch, all who catch the ball on underneath routes and eat up yards after the catch.
I personally love this deal. The offense will not put up as many points as they did with Moss but the addition of another YAC guy will help out the Patriots big time. The Pats will eat up clock therefore keeping thier horrid defense off the field all while tiring out the opponents defense. It also helps out the locker room, Branch will be a good veteran influence on the young wideouts and a leader on and off the field. I dont think he will tell Tom to get a haircut either.  I am excited to see the new look Pats offense. Brady will be able to be Brady and not worry about getting certain wideouts touches. This team will be fun to watch and root for the rest of the season.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Breaking Up is Easy to Do


By Rocky,

Why are you here, it’s an off-week? Well thanks for coming. Since you are around you should hear about my friend: 

He was dating this girl, she is ridiculously hot (including a great ass) but she's a bitch. She kept begging to marry him, to commit, but he wasn’t into it, he told her, “Lets ride out this year and then we’ll see.” She got all crazy-like and announced to everyone that she was going to leave him. Then he quietly reminded her that they live together and that it would make it weird if they stuck with the relationship. She cooled it but was steaming silently. Knowing she wouldn’t be around for long, lest more than a season, he began spreading himself around. Finally he decided that he would be happier if he tried lesser attractive but more agreeable women. 

Now, know, that as far as looks as concerned his girlfriend is one of the all-time greats. Still he felt it amicable and better for his future if he shed her now before she decided to sit around his house pouting and demanding he give her more money (she was sort of a kept woman with some short but very useful talents). He posted an ad on Craigslist and found the opportunity of having a female roommate—not nearly as pretty, but one who may be able to bring a foosball table, kegerator or perhaps the talent to draw a double team next year. This new girl promised to come next year but would pay the girlfriend’s security deposit now and allow my friend to rent out the extra room until she came with a moving van.

My friend asked me what I thought of his decision and initially I told him that he would never find a girl as pretty as his current girlfriend but when I thought of the headaches he suffered to keep her I saw that he was making the clear, right, emotionally detached decision for his future. Then when I asked how he would send his Hall of Fame girlfriend back to her parents and give her the security deposit back he answered, “Straight cash, homey.”

-30-

Friday, October 8, 2010

Oh No!


By Charlie,
Hi. I’m Charlie. I’ve been begging Rocky to let me write something for the Blauhg for a while. Actually I haven’t even gotten permission from him to write this for the blog, I’m just going to email this to him every 15 minutes until it ends up on the Blauhg. I feel that I need to address the Randy Moss trade so this was the opportune time to pester him. 
Now you need to know who I am and for me to explain my Patriots fandom. First and foremost I am a Bears fan. I live in Chicago and wear a Bears’ Curtis Conway jersey most Sundays. My dad is from Boston and made sure that I was a diehard Red Sox fan despite where I grew up. He never really liked football so he didn’t care if I liked the Pats, so I became a Bears fan. Since I already had some Boston fandom I would find myself latching on to the Celtics when the Bulls weren’t interesting and to the Pats when the Bears were sucking (which happens a lot). To add to this I went to Purdue where I dealt with a bunch of mouth breathing Colts fans and they are truly the worst that humanity has to offer. So I found myself rooting for the Pats more and more through the years. They aren’t my true love but you guys have a pretty sexy mistress. My favorite all time Patriot is Rosie Colvin since he completed the trifecta; Purdue, Bears, Pats. I digress…
When I heard about the Randy Moss trade I thought about it from my point of view of a Patriots fan at first. I thought that it was silly that they got rid of him. I know that he hasn’t contributed all that much as far as stats go this year, but that’s not all there is to him. The way he stretches the field is what enables Welker to be so successful. He will be missed and there is no way that they will be able to replace him this year and I think it will hurt their chances of going deep into the playoffs. That being said I think a third round pick is pretty decent for a rent-a-player that was most likely not going to be coming back next year, even if it is a player as talented as Randy. I wish they found a way to work things out with him but I have to say that I’m pumped about the draft next year, seriously. So as a Pats fan I was disappointed but I see how it was a smart move. 
Then I started thinking with my right brain, being a Bears fan, and I started getting a little worked up.  Then I thought about it some more. Then I threw a scotch glass against the wall. FUCK! You’re giving Randy Moss to the fucking Vikings for a bag of footballs you fucking bastards! We were this close from seeing Brett Favre’s career crumble in front of us as he throws three picks a game without a single receiver worth a damn. Now with Moss to throw to Favre is going to be like a damn kid out there! as he gunslings the Vikings back into contention. Peter King is going to have to change his underwear every 15 minutes with Favre and Moss together. GODDAMNIT! Couldn’t you trade Moss to, oh, I don’t know, anyone else?! Moss is going to have nine tuddys in the two games against the Bears this year. Then some no name asshole will replace Moss in New England and score three tuddys against the Bears in December. Did you really have to do this to me the same week that Todd Collins becomes our starting QB?  Ugh!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

In Bill we trust???? Hmmmmm...

By: grak
When I first heard last night that the Pats were trading Moss, I said to myself they better get more than a damn draft pick. Why waste this season to get another draft pick which the Pats will trade down for any way.
Moss is a top five wide reciever who stretches the field and demands the attention of the opponents best corner or a double team, leaving open lanes for welker and the tight ends. Well bye bye to that. The Pats now have a third round pick in which they will draft a 5'9 corner back.
You know we have been listening to in Bill we trust all these years but this moves has me questioning my love for the hoodie. I feel like I have been cheated on and I am not sure if I can give BB my full trust again. If he flips the pick for a blockbuster trade to improve this year then you got all my trust back but other than that I am starting to have my doubts.
Moss is hands down one of the best wrs in the game, and Bradys secruity blanket. To only get a damn third round draft pick for him is absurd! Are we surrendering this season? Who is going to fill those shoes? Our defense sucks so the offense needs to put up 30 pts each week to win and with out Randy it will be tough. Yes Brady can now spread the ball around but now welker and the TEs will be getting doubled making it that much harder to move the ball downfield.
Coming off the huge monday night win I was on cloud 9. This idiotic trade swooped me off cloud nine and has me flat on my ass scratching my head.
IN BILL WE TRUST??????? I just don't know anymore.......

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Observations from the Blaughs couch

By: Greg
Some questions have been answered.....can the pats win on the road? Can the pats make half time adjustments and win a second half? Can the defense make plays? can the corners shut down a big play reciever? YESSSSSS

Here are some observations from the Blaugh's couch.....
•the Law firm is the exact running back the pats need, a straight ahead one cut
running back


• Vollmer did not look good last night, often getting beat by the CFL guy



• Thank you jets for woodhead

• Gostkowski is kicking the shit out of the ball, you could tell the Phins were getting frustrated because they wanted to get momentum on the kickoffs but gost would not let him

•On the first drive of the series I said ninovich sucks to the wing eaters I was watching the game with, welp he made me look like a fool

• How about Belichick in khackis?

• Every body Wang Chunged last night.

• Special teams special teams special teams



• Tate was not only returning kicks beautifully, but he had some nice catch and runs which will be big when people start doubling moss and the waterbug

• Hey BRADY, why don't you yell at the Miami fans??? They were no where to be seen after the third quater. I loved seeing the Pats fans file down to the bottom sections, you could even hear Pats chants as the game went on


• Bill loves Mcourtey

Nothing pumped me up more than seeing BB go around to everyone giving high fives and when Brady left the game as went buck WILD

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Grip of a Pats fan...

By: Grak

The Pats fan on the Price is Right shakes hand with Drew Carey, New England Style.....