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Saturday, January 8, 2011

Playyyoffs??? Playyoffs??? What to do this weekend without the Pats during the Playyyoffs

By: Charlie

The best thing about football is it’s consistency. Is it fall or early winter? Is it a Sunday? Yes? Then it’s time to watch football. I have given up every Sunday since early September to the NFL. Whether I’m chilling at a friend’s house watching Red Zone or drinking my ass off in a bar with Rocky you can be damn sure that I will be watching football. More specifically I will be watching the Pats or the Bears. The joy of liking two teams is most evident during bye weeks; if one team is on bye chances are the other one isn’t. Yet this week I find myself with both the Pats and Bears on bye, I have no idea what to do with myself. Sure, I could watch the other playoff games but I don’t really give a shit about those as long as the Saints win by more than 10.5 points. So I decided to come up with a list of potential activities I could do instead, especially since I hope this will be my only open Sunday until the middle of February.

1. Go outside. I’ve been spending every Sunday in front of the TV and neglecting the great outdoors.

2. Go to a museum. I like art. I like culture. It’ll expand my brain.

3. Read a book. It’s like a blog but in print form.

4. Do the New York Times crossword puzzle while listening to NPR. Again, maybe I should actually use my brain on a Sunday.

5. C lean the shit hole that is my apartment. 4 months of watching football inside has led to quite a prodigious pile of empty beer cans both in and around my garbage can.

6. Take my lady out for brunch and talk about feelings or whatever the hell it is that she wants to do on Sundays.

7. Admit to my girlfriend that I haven’t been spending every Sunday at church and helping out at a soup kitchen.

That’s a pretty nice list if I do say so myself. I have a lot of productive activities I could choose from. It’s going to be hard to decide which one to do. Oh, wait a second! I just thought of one more to add on to my list and I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be the winner:

8. Fuck it. Spend all day in my sweatpants and wife beater, watch football, drink PBR, eat a deep dish sausage and hot giardinera pizza and maybe, just maybe, read a couple pages of The Education of a Coach by David Halberstam to get my Pats fix. Hell yes.

Also the Chalk of the Week: I know this is the trendy pick. I know it seems like a hell of a lot of points. I know that I normally should stay away from picks like this. The facts of the matter are that the Seabags have lost 9 times and every damn time it has been by more than 15. Guess what? They sure as shit aren't winning this week, nor are they coming within 15. Take the Saints at 10.5 and my former classmate Drew Brees will help you earn a nice steak dinner.

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