New England Patriots Blog: Jesus Calls Brady God's Nephew, Belichick Evil, and Tells Tebow to Read His Playbook

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Jesus Calls Brady God's Nephew, Belichick Evil, and Tells Tebow to Read His Playbook

Even Jesus thinks this game is in the Patriots' favor.

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Rocky, QB, 5’6” 160 lbs. A real Doug Flutie type. Rocky is the Editor-In-Chief of Inked magazine and an Contributing Editor to Playboy magazine but before the tattoos and the Bunnies he was a plucky intern for Patriots Football Weekly when in high school. He is also an ex-Patriot in the sense that he lives in the NYC area and has a local bar where they provide him with his own TV to watch the Pats—and that’s saying much considering the countless paying Jets and Giants fans who frequent the watering hole where the only other Pats fan in the bar is a shady fellow who wears a greasy Tippet jersey and smells like Drakkar. He lives and dies with the Patriots. People go to their respective churches on Sunday, Rocky goes to worship at the altar of Bill Belichick.

GRak., RB/CB, 6’1” 160 lbs Greg is a teacher and coach. He is football-wise beyond his years. He scored in the 1100’s on his SATs and 32 on the Wonderlic Test. If he isn’t in his man cave watching the Pats on Sunday he’s tailgating at Patriot games. His upside: insider-type-insight dished like a regular guy. Downside: grammar and spelling. But he knows his X’s and O’s.

J.R., Wedge Breaker, 6’2” 220 lbs. Gambling guru, character, owner of a Tom Tupa jersey.

Charlie Connell, Left Fielder. Has range being foremost a Bears' fanatic but also a Patriots' fan when the Bears start sucking (no matter when you read this Ditka isn't putting on his sweater anytime soon so he's a Pats fan right now). He has a Midwestern work ethic and a view of the Pats from Central Time so with the hour in between he and we, Patriots Nation, he's brings a clear, though often hot, head to the Blauhg.

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Sunday, December 18, 2011

Jesus Calls Brady God's Nephew, Belichick Evil, and Tells Tebow to Read His Playbook

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