Ed Reed to Coach the Patriots?

By Rocky,

This weekend I found out that I am good person. Yep, I always hoped that I would be generally nice, yes, I’ve now sealed it. The first clue that I am fantastic on the inside came when Peyton Manning was sidelined for this football year. As a Patriots’ fan my immediate reaction probably should have been a celebratory fist pump, but, no, I was saddened. I was dismayed that the second best quarterback of all time wouldn’t be able to compete. I was sorry that such a champion was robbed of doing what he is great at, I was sorrowful that we were denied the opportunity to see his great football mind this season and I was pouting that the Colts/Pats game wouldn’t have the same intensity of titans clashing like it had been in past years. I didn’t want to do the jig in Manning’s grave, I was pulling for him to come back from the dead.

Then yesterday, I was as conflicted as I was the first time I saw a New Orleans’ tranny while watching the Tejans/Ravens’ game. Did I want to face TJ Yates or Joe Falco? Was I more ascared of seeing Foster or RayRice next week? Are the Ravens stalwarts aging bdown to the same level of the gelling Tejans’ D? In the end I didn’t really give a damn who would win and go to Foxborough next Sunday. But at the end Reed tweaked his ankle/leg/spring-loaded-bionic-person-propeller-apparatus the same feeling I had when I learned Manning was down washed over me. Because this was the second time it couldn’t have been a Narragansett Beer buzz, I genuinely must be empathetic. I now can undoubtly say that I’m a wonderful person.

But how do I know that there is still a Patriots’ fan within the heart that I discovered is also filled with unicorns and Starburst? My second thought, as Ray Lewis helped carry Reed off the field was that we could sign him. Not next year, but now. For those of you who caught the Belichick documentary on the NFL Network earlier in the season you know that BB and Brady have so much friggin respect for Mr. Ed Reed. Like the kind of respect where they would trade their right to play with a left guard all next season for Reed. While I assume the purple #20 is a loyal Raven and doesn’t think about playing out his autumn years in New England, I could totally see him eschewing the talking head football pre-and-post-game desks to coach under Belichick. So why not now?* BB signed Josh McDaniels for the Broncos game, how about Reed make the transition for this week’s game?

*You know, except for him being a loyal Raven, having a good chunk of money coming to him next year from Balitmore, the fact that he might have only tweaked his ankle, and through modern sport medicine you can break a leg and somehow run a 4.4 40 the following morning. Besides all that.