As a New Englander living in the New York Metro Area I’ve been punched in the face a few times in the last two weeks. I’m worried about more of that happening tonight along with a few more things:
-Ochocinco getting a celebration penalty. He’s been pent up all year, there’s bound to be some theatrics if we throw the ball his way and he is running the correct route.
-Welker catching an ambulance ball.
-The bartender rushing my Guinness in the interest of serving a packed house. Good Guinness takes time.
-Peyton Manning booby-trapping Brady’s locker (if you haven’t heard sports radio this week, Brady is using Peyton’s locker).
-Having to hear a lot about Gronks’ leg.
-I’m afraid that this could be Tom Brady’s last game. I’m seriously concerned about the Giants from four causing him irrevocable harm. They are good, damn good, if they stay together for a few years they could be the best ever.
-Having to talk to a Giants fan who starts the conversation with, “You know Eli is just as good as Brady…”
-Madonna singing from her new cannon. My ideal set list: Borderline, La Isla Bonita, Pat City.
-Brady starting out of rhythm. You can tell in the first quarter by his body language on if we will be victorious.
-Giants 0, Patriots 7 hitting in a box pool. Charlie has those numbers while I drew combinations of 3, 4, 4, 5, 5, 7—and the 3 and 7 aren’t paired up.
-Shots! Someone ordering round after round of shots.
-Being sucked in by the Puppy Bowl.
-Brady's Super Bowl drought since Gisele.
-Will Blackmon scoring in a meaningful way. As a high school teammate I pull for him but only in garbage time against Patriots.
-Red hooded sweatshirts.
-Acid rain, global warming, Mitt Romney.
-Girls in pink Brady jerseys talking loudly about anything but the game.
-Guys in pink Brady jerseys?
-A Kelly Clarkson wardrobe malfunction.
-Edelman getting worn out.
-Feeling bad for the other other Manning brother when the camera pans up to him 17 times during the game.
-My liver prolapsing.
-Having my new old Patriots’s Starter jacket rip while I get stomped by Giant giant d-bags (if this happens, Greg, my pin number is 123456 and the password to my computer is “icecreamofthefutu5e” clear my cache and drain my checking account before the bookies come to collect)
-How the hell are we favored underdogs? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? When we win I’m worried about calling it an upset.